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I am convinced that most people do not know what love is.

What most people think romantic love is, is really just lust and self-focused fantasy. It is fantasy about self and the projection of a fantasy onto the other person.

After thinking about, studying, and discussing this subject, I am also convinced that love is not an emotional response.

Love, that is, the quality that is common to all types of loves, is the desire to do right and good things for another person.

Romantic love is to do those things for a person of the opposite sex whom you like and admire.

Lifetime love is doing right and good things for another person consistently across many years.

Romantic love is not the selfish experience of one’s pleasurable emotional reactions.

Marriage is only a good deal if both people know their roles and are willing to be good and to do good to the other person.

Part of being right for another person and being a good person in practical reality is to fulfill your sex role.

Nice emotions are nice, but they are not what holds the house up.

People should wait till the rapturous emotions wear off completely before getting married.

Many people, people meaning women, think that love is a strong emotional feeling that their husband is obligated by marriage vows to keep alive for forty or fifty years. But this is an impossible goal and a delusional expectation.

If you continually converse with the person you desire and admire, daily, for two full years, without confusing things by having sex with them, you will know who they are.

Why get married and have kids before you know if you can even stand your potential spouse the way they really are?

With marriage, as with religious conversion, there is a honeymoon phase.

It is real, but it is temporary.

People need to wake up and not hope against reality.

The truth will set you free, but first it might tick you off severely.

Then it will set you free.

Curtis Smale